Hannah{'s absence>™ has hurt me more than anyone, and
I am obviously the result of significant childhood sexual abuse
that none of my family feels compelled to answer for.
Ta daa!
Aren't you all so proud?
Legal repercussions are starting to feel really,
really necessary. 💯
Y'all can all write to each other in prison,
as I won't be visiting or writing you, myself. (<-thats probably a lie, but fuck you anyway. I love writing letters. 😒)
I hope you've all enjoyed carrying on
as if you could never be held accountable.
https://youtu.be/ZclF4cFXxng?si=osb_LSEu6G46Q47P
Sucks for you, whole entire family. You've all had umpteen opportunities to reach out to me and just be honest and apologetic, and it all would've washed away with the tears. Instead, you all decided to pretend there was something wrong with me and none of you had a clue what it could be. The answer is: I grew up surrounded by rapists, both familial and otherwise. It split both my mind and my personality, as childhood sexual abuse is a very serious trauma that nobody is equipped to withstand without severe subconscious (and otherwise) damage. And then they all (my family) abandoned me, leaving me to try to figure out how to put the pieces back together with none of the relevant information.
It's obviously been a catastrophe.
And, of course, global human trafficking really does exist, and the more I appeared to become a threat to my familial rapists, I'm sure the more the global rapists paid attention to me. At least that's the best I can figure, unless my family is actually directly involved in the global abuse enterprise. I mean, they are all doing pretty well financially, while I financially drown all by myself for daring to stand up against the very serious problem which clearly includes all of them.
https://youtu.be/tw0sskCqrpI?si=FMjanNbj5KXqml-Q
I obviously don't know who my realtime tormentor(s) are, as I'm sure it's not MY HANNAH, but I am certain they exist, and that I'm not just "crazy." Somebody somewhere does not want my mind and heart healing, and there's most likely a whole collection of them. I am certain about some various unexplainable shit, like the timeline jumping, and the inability to be killed. That tells me there's some huge shit going on in and around my life, and someone or someones don't want me knowing what it all is. The overwhelming likelihood feels like my family and everyone else thought I would be just another helpless child victim, and nothing would ever come of the abuse I suffered. Just the same old "nobody" as everyone else, for the most part. But then as I got older, I'm sure the split personality started manifesting a bit more noticeably, and then as I progressed through my twenties, I became more of a threat than they ever believed possible. But I obviously don't KNOW anything, as they've wiped my mind of any relevant memories that would make me make sense to myself, or anyone else, and instead they pump my mind full of anything that's not what it all really is.
Anything to keep me from threatening everyone with the absolute truth: I am heavily raped, frequently, and always have been. I am not the only one. I'm just the only one smart enough to tell everyone all about it, every chance I get.
And somehow they can't kill me. I guess God really did determine it was time for rapists to stop raping.
I suppose this is what happens when you're severely abused for what amounts to your entire life, and when you attempt to address all your issues healthily, all your abusers do is gaslight you and disappear. So all your pain has nowhere to go.
Trying to come to terms with the simple fact that I've never been loved is difficult.
Hi, it's me. 🙋🏼♀️ I'm the exploited one. Everyone I've ever loved values keeping their shamefully rapey "secrets" over keeping me.
~ 9.16.24
It's funny, most people probably think I don't keep anyone's secrets.
But I do.
I just don't keep malicious secrets.
*mentallyrepeating*"thatnoneofmyfamilyfeelscompelledtoanswerfor"
*noticeable energetic interference with my physical heart* (sometimes maliciously referred to as a "panic attack")
Family, y'all aren't actually trying to kill me, are you? 🧐 That would be ridiculous.
And I don't keep secrets that were never intended to be secrets. Like Edwin's lofty position in theCartel, and their direct and unwavering effort to protect me in a very hostile and violent world.
A world that previously prided itself in being a rapist's paradise. ✋☺️🤚
Before Edwin, I had no viable clue that I had a very real, very split mind/personality. Which can only mean that nobody before him wanted me to know, right? That's the only explanation that makes any logical sense, right, family? 😐
Nick, too, doesn't invalidate my assertion that I have a fundamental separation that I don't know how to fix, and I've gone full batshit crazy and back at least a dozen times, by now. My family members seem to be the only people who emotionally violently insist that I'm wildly delusional and I need to get my shit together while they actively abandon me (and evidently dance delusions all throughout my mind)... I'm not liking the version of sense this makes. 🥲
I'm getting glares from the calico, though she's laying close, which my delusional mind is inclined to interpret as Hannah's impression of me seriously suspecting her as one of my abusers. And no matter how many times my mind is dragged to hell and back, I can't shake the concept that I very well was legitimately impregnated (by my mom's husband), and then heavily psychologically manipulated from about 2 months gestation, all the way through and a while after labor, effectively obscuring the reality of the pregnancy from my conscious mind. So, like... Did you, then, as her Mate, go "kidnap" my daughter for me, Nick? Perhaps after my court appearance with "her parents" in Williamston?
I'm not quite comprehending what's really going on, here.
Where the truths, amongst all the chaos that is my mind, really are.
And despite the allbutcertainty that my mom's husband real life knocked me up right before my vacation to PCDC, I can't scrounge up the feeling that he violated me. It only ever feels like he fully intended to put a dramatic end to my lifelong abuse.
That would vaguely explain why he might've been showing up at Family Dollar, outside the scope of "my" awareness. That was (is) HIS BABY, after all. 🤔
Hello? 🧐
Is this the real story? My Family Always Hated Me, and now I have two whole daughters?
(I think Hannah's probably about to pop with Nick's baby, btw...
That's definitely the impression I'm getting, anyway. 🤷🏼♀️)
Did Hannah know my family broke me, and then made a seriously lucrative living exploiting my brokenness, before Nick and Edwin came along? Or had the Copelands and Stancils decided to just remove her from my life and steadfastly lie about me?
https://youtu.be/T1c6fgwaF-Q?si=A86s9JouupaSo0N2
Right up until the people that surrounded me radically changed about a year ago. Actually, ten days short of exactly a year ago. My dad, Jeremy, and Ashley made it clearer than water that they hated me while I was locked up, and on 9.26.23 I decided I would never reach out to them again. Then suddenly I was surrounded by a buncha strangers at a homeless shelter, that somehow seemed to care way more than anyone I'd known forever. Not to mention Aj, who must know my blackDad somehow, who magically appeared at the downtown Sheetz the night I was released from jail and literally had nothing and no one and nowhere to go, and who then stayed with me in a car for a week while I tried to stop reeling from the shock of so obviously finally losing what I thought was my family. There's no way that man was a complete stranger to me and my life. He was a Godsend.🪽 Same as Ron and Karisa had to have been. How they both managed to make me feel all the parental love I'd always been missing on the inside, while my "actual family" ripped me to shreds bodily, emotionally, and psychologically, I'll never know.
And lemme not exclude Steve, Scott&Sherri, and Singleton.
They all helped me in ways I can't quite comprehend, as well.
So, like...will I ever start making sense to myself, ooor...?
Is it just gonna be this psychotic cycle of never knowing anything, forever?
Even (and perhaps especially) at 14.
[I remember myself at 14, and she's almost certainly less damaged.
I was still intrinsically emotionally equipped for forever at 14.]
~Certainly far more trust than I had in the jackass who abandoned me on the side of the road when I was 7 months pregnant with her, clearly illustrating how much he cared about either of us. And, if I recall, the likelihood that Hannah is actually legitimately Nick's reincarnated previous girlfriend who'd killed herself when he got locked up is pretty significant, timewise.
Nick deserves to have that Love back.
And Hannah deserves to not be treated like some kind of residue left behind by a mom who supposedly cared very little for her. So I guess this version of potential reality is the only thing that makes sense to me, anymore.
And the fact that, from about the time I was 7 months pregnant with Hannah, to when I delivered her somewhat naturally at 8 months, I remember waking up writhing in pain from what felt like I was being stabbed all the way around my very pregnant midsection... tells me that the notion that her dad had in fact compelled me to "sacrifice" my baby, probably more than once, isn't all that neurotic a concept.
And where the inability to kill me started getting really interesting.
Oh, and the young black employee from the shelter isn't (wasn't?) Morgan Grice, but she is Edwin's Mate. I never did learn how to spell Shontel correctly, but that's almost certainly neither of their real names, anyway. Lol.
The 'legal system' was specifically designed
to protect abusers and silence the rest, Hannah.
That's why "I didn't fight for you." Except, I always did.
9.17.24 ~
So, uh, just curious... Are we actually vampires? 👀 I'm inclined to legit believe: yes.
Someone somewhere wants me to start my day believing that Hannah may actually have killed herself at some point living with her dad, but I know that's not the case. She might've wished she were dead a number of times, much like myself, but she would never kill herself any more than I would. So. Kiss my ass.💋
And whoever keeps trying to kill Trump should
go ahead and give up. Not gonna happen. 🤏🏼🖕🏼
I don't know if the Danica/Sarah narrative is legit, or if it was a valid context with inaccurate details, or just wholly fabricated in my head. Someone(s) does absolutely go around intimidating and killing people that whistleblowers such as myself care about. I didn't imagine that video call last week when I was in Jackie's room. "BigMomma" did absolutely and unmistakably strike me as LISHA (energetically, vaguely visibly, and in the "coded" way she spoke), and the other party on the phone did absolutely and unmistakably look like a dead person whom Lisha evidently cared deeply for, and who was puppeted into a "🤫" pose. And when I didn't stop speaking my "unhinged" version of the truth, the dead person signed off and shortly thereafter, Lisha's previously life filled head suddenly had a very chalky appearance about it, with a weird "severed" appearance about her neck. There wasn't visible blood, of course, but the message was not really "open to interpretation."
I do not know if Jackie was Jackie during that call, or not. I don't really care.
When we were at Steve's house, he and the others would talk in seemingly utterly random ways that didn't actually make any sense to me, but that they all seemed to understand without a problem. Lisha was the most "fluent," second only to Steve. Paula was the next most fluent. I assume Marcy would've sounded much like Steve, if she were ever around, but despite their undeniable bond, she stayed away from his house. He would go see her alone, without any of us. I went to her house maybe twice with Steve, and once without him. Her role in his life was never up for debate, and never even remotely capable of being shaken or replaced. It never mattered what happened at his house or in his life, Marcy was his Home, and all of us knew it. She could bitch and complain about him all she wanted to, but the overwhelming heartache she felt about him was clear (to me, anyway). She was sick of the games.
Actually, I don't think Marcy would have talked the nonsense like everyone else. The few times I was around her, she didn't mince her words at all. She said exactly what the fuck she meant, in plain English, no matter who was around or might have been offended lol. I'm sure that's one of the things Steve admires about her. I sure do. 🐚😁
https://youtu.be/cl3B_FTDKD0?si=Cl6GbMdCnykcZ3xZ
Loyalty, that's exactly it. I'd never seen unshakable loyalty until I saw Steve and Marcy.
~
Some of the most "influential" songs I've ever known, I met through Steve. He somehow created a space in which I could actually feel music as if it were written specifically about me. There was never any way back from that frequency.
🍒https://youtu.be/LHCob76kigA?si=qLPx9jZD38l_WuQq💧
This is what makes the most sense to me, honestly:
After Bj went home bragging about how I'd verbally relinquished parental rights over Hannah in the Williamston courthouse a couple weeks before PCDC released me, effectively "invisibly" breaking Hannah's heart into a bunch of pieces; Edwin🙃, Nick and Brenda showed up at their house and "kidnapped" her, so to speak. And when I got to the homeless shelter a few weeks later, after a week in a car with an angel, and then a weekend at my daughter's "dead" paternal grandma's Greenville apartment, Hannah spent a lot of time observing me from a slight distance, sandwiched between Nick and Brenda pretending to be sleeping, learning all about what my traumatic life was actually like. *shudder*
And, more importantly, what I'm actually like.
When I haven't been psychologically,
emotionally, and physically hijacked.
📺https://youtu.be/03hC_Ml8aAM?si=NPS-NIEIjdW_fJUU📻
'You can't let her go out there alone.' ~myHeart🙃 thanks, ❤️🔥Nick & Edwin❣️
I'm pretty sure the Copelands let Hannah believe Bj's mom was dead, just like they'd told me. And I'm sure it was quite a shock for her when I showed up at the shelter/park talking all about how I was certain I'd just spent a weekend with "my daughter's not dead grandma."
Unmistakable jumbomarshmallow-on-toothpicks lookin ass woman. 😦
Thank you for wasting no time in taking me straight to "💩MsCindy," 👑James🛡️.
🪜https://youtu.be/3DnOv8osHMs?si=ZbY8dBzyqPoozSAd😶🌫️
So, yeah... I suppose Bj🤑 is a terrible dad, and so was mine. 👩🏼🔬
💬https://youtu.be/5TMnGPjA3mo?si=1SkaxIX4ofdUEVl2🏧
And I don't actually think Elon is still a child, technically or otherwise. I do think he's both younger and older than the general public thinks he is, though. It would be a vampire thing. Vampires age pretty slowly. Time is weird. 🌀 I can identify him by the way he talks, no matter what the voice sounds like, or how the meatsuit looks. 😗
I don't believe I've been comatose, for any amount of time. There might be a timeline in which cryogenics were attempted in order to circumvent Skylar, but that obviously wouldn't have worked, and simply ceased to exist as a potential reality.
And I seriously doubt that effort would've been
made by Ron, even in that alternate timeline.🥷🏿
He actually likes his kids. 😑
Oh, did I tell y'all I'm pretty sure he's a 🗿Freemason? I could be wrong. 😎
I suppose we had to break down my walls somehow. 🥀
By the time I left, I no longer felt raped by my blackDad.🌈🌻
https://youtu.be/iMDMKplWWXc?si=1ZeUyMvrtEaw6psZ
https://youtu.be/dc9bi_DRauM?si=HsP0V8rG-eZCv5RG
There was a redheaded Copeland on the female block with me. She liked to tell everyone her dad used to run the jail, but then for them not to tell anyone else. 🤣
So we all knew, but also nobody else was supposed to know. 🥱
I don't think she was actually in jail, I think she volunteered to be there.
She kinda held down a psychological bridge to Hannah for me.
I assume the wife Sara Copeland volunteered for her role, too. Whether that be as Bj's legit destined Mate, or not, I'm certainly inclined to believe so. But also that she had some degree of foreknowledge, coming into our lives.🪽 I don't believe her name is actually Sara Elisabeth, like Bj's little sister's is. I think that was just "part of the plan." And that, without her holding her position, getting Hannah away from Bj and back into my life would've been much, much more difficult.
(Without having to kill Bj, that is.🔥🙃🔥
Edwin would have found no difficulty
'obtaining the payload', either way. ⭐)
🚪*knock*strongSpanishaccent🛑"GoGetHerDaughter."*poof*
Nick may or may not have already been talking to
Hannah online, so he wasn't a complete stranger
to her when he showed up at her house. 🫛🙂🫛
You clever bastards. 🤣
In the car: "We Actually Know Your Mom." 💙❄️💙
I'm pretty sure "Tall Tim" from the park is the son of the large black man who sat in on one of my pregnancy tests at PCDC sporting a large shiny Freemason ring prominently on his right hand lol. And I have "no reason to think that," other than both of them shamelessly displaying (to me) their covert abilities, in a way that gave me the impression that they must be closely related. 🤷🏼♀️ Same kinda energy lmfao.
🍆https://youtu.be/k5sRMxEmkXE?si=NkSaiWVJiGbAIYpl🍌🍍🍌
And then Hannah sees me cozy right up to Edwin over anyandeveryone else at the shelter, almost like I'd known him for years. Hah. Impressive, y'all. For real.
The link between Edwin and SnowThaProduct is legit, but I have no idea what happened when I subconsciously identified that. What I know is this: Edwin and I sat at a park table right outside the ballfield on Memorial and, what, Moye? while we watched my favorite song of hers. I can't remember if I pulled it up, or if he did. I think he did, and I was surprised to realize he listens to her. He mostly listens to very Spanish, very Cartel music lol. (Which, she obviously is Cartel.) I ended up dam.crying during the song, and a few weeks ago when I passed by what should have been that table, the table was gone. Everything else the same, but no table. That clearly indicates a change in timelines, to me, and hints at the relevant changes between timelines, but I don't always know how to accurately interpret what those changes were/are.
Almost exclusively, all these alternate timelines ended in tragedy.
Some people think all those extinct tragedies are my fault.
Those people are brainwashed. Tragedy is the exact opposite of my fault.
So who's overseeing all the raping still happening to me?
Meaning, to whom should I still address my anger? *😑*
~~~
https://youtu.be/izwvS0HnU9A?si=S8EFVUpSOZsuqFYD
https://youtu.be/pY1Goar8ZOc?si=guiSTCcsKXEQrbXV
https://youtu.be/h-fB4_PTFi8?si=cNUf75dG9FE7Wm5j
https://youtu.be/aatr_2MstrI?si=9S5Z15Rws1IXKFAP
And Edwin is that Spanish kid I met in Georgia in 4th grade. 🥰
No wonder he felt so familiar on a soul level.
He established our bond so long ago.
Nick did the same kinda thing with Hannah, but online. Smart Man. 🤓
https://youtu.be/sVzvRsl4rEM?si=2WY7A8wNMLNRvcK7
https://youtu.be/XXlZfc1TrD0?si=JFPoCAon8PoR6gsL
https://youtu.be/aIHF7u9Wwiw?si=hNxDc1LthbM0avsb
https://youtu.be/NQghA0123NA?si=n6m_0TyO6SVRebBi
My mom sits on the couch
watching TV and doing small leg lifts,
and she calls it
"by the way exercising."
🪄
So what's with all the silence,
hiding behind your husband,
and intentionally misleading
(and even "ripping") <"No"*nodsheadyes*>
my entire psyche, Mother?
https://youtu.be/JlnJsMvT--s?si=-xPVZ-GE4KrvM_PC
https://youtu.be/M2N9eU_nJbY?si=m2b1Hvte_wMEUBIC ~Bj'sWife🪄
https://youtu.be/HPmhWTMkUwQ?si=NYr8v-GJBhlb3z5y
🤳🏻Yes, hello Jimmy Kimmel, who is NOT a pedophile. 🤣🙄 LOL.👉cia4realz👈
https://youtu.be/wiSZm2I1h8g?si=zMZvVO6z5TFXvDqW
He just 🗨️🧠 indicated "you're all" "getting arrested."
My family, I assume. 🤷🏼♀️
Or I'm just losing my mind again. 🤪
Who cares? We live in hell, right?
"Do it yourself, on a crime budget." ~ 🤣 me 'misreading' an ad.
9.18.24 ~
I suppose the inclination to steal one of my nieces and all of my nephews, assuming they're not actually biologically mine, stems from my siblings' willing and generational participation in satanic bullshit. And I assume the "Casper boys" equated to Caeden and Judah, those are your sons' names, right, Philip? I met Caeden one time, and Judah none. I have a hard time looking at Sadie and seeing Ashley or Tyler, but that may just be because they're horrible parents. I can definitely see Kim's dad's genes in Landon, so it turns out I am not convinced I have a dozen or more biological offspring, in the presence of a relatively clear mind.
I am, however, absolutely convinced that
my siblings should not be allowed to have children.
Seriously.
And I'm eternally grateful to Tucker&Kim for taking Micah and Landon far away from Jeremy's horrifying influence.
I legit had two little T shaped pieces of plastic in my uterus, spanning the first 11 years of Hannah's life, 5 and then 6 years, effectively preventing contraception between Hannah and Skylar. And I suppose those that raped me between November of 2021 and August of 2023 were either just "really careful," or I have no idea how I didn't get pregnant until that day in front of the Ring camera outside my mom's front door.
actually feel my daughter's existence again, Nick.
I totally blocked her out right about the time it became
obvious that Bj wasn't interested in "allowing" me to be her mom.
I figured I'd get to reconnect with her after she turned 18, but by then Bj might've totally poisoned her heartmind about me and my supposedly willful absence.
Bj's dedication to being a shit parent didn't make all the other (and actually helpless) children disappear. I needed to be able to care about them, too, whether my daughter's dad cared about anyone but himself, or not. I think the wife Sara was the "Matthew" in the truth, in that she was the one I could trust to keep Hannah's heart from hurting too much while I was slowly but firmly shoved out of her life.
And there's entirely too much "coincidence" about Jway's involvement in our lives for him to be anything other than lowkey positively intentional. I met him working at the Food Lion in Robersonville, like an hour away from Williamston, when Hannah was 3 months old. Cheated on Bj with him and promptly found "the audacity" to leave that wildly abusive relationship, but then when Hannah's in school and all, he's right there, too, being a real parent to one of her classmates.
Can't possibly stem from hate.
"FaLl BaCk, McMillon."(🤣😅)
Oh, did I tell everyone that Epstein is both NOT DEAD, and CIA?
Clintons are probably CIA, too. Everyone's in on the plot.
Sure, maybe it's "my responsibility" to "keep everyone 'alive'," but that doesn't mean everyone gets to carry on living as they please, when the way they please is directly harmful to innocent beings, intellectually and emotionally stunted "family."
I'll never forget: "yOu DoN't BaSh FaMiLy On SoCiAl MeDiA." ~my aunts, publicly, on my Facebook lolol.
"Says who? I'm not biased. 😐" ~me. Fuck you, and fuck where you're from. 🔥
PEOPLE.
RAISING CHILDREN IS BOTH A PRIVILEGE AND A MASSIVE RESPONSIBILITY. STOP TREATING CHILDREN LIKE ACCESSORIES.
I honestly don't know my cousins well enough to say whether they deserve to be parents, or not. I don't need to know them well enough, though, because the entire legal system, rewired by yours truly (with the help of the Cartel), knows them for me.
What would my mother have done if she knew I was real life pregnant with Skylar? 🤔 I don't think I have to wonder very hard, I could legit feel the directed energetic attacks on my uterus while I was at PCDC. Witchcraft; my mom has always been quite fond of her ability to hurt others while maintaining the appearance of innocence and care.
I think that weekend at KathyCopeland's extremely literally pissy and shitty apartment (completely disgusting) convinced both of us that Skylar was gone. And I'm inclined to believe Ron seriously didn't inform her when he stopped by Family Dollar those couple few times. He knew where to find me because every time I'm within speaking distance of a UPS employee, I tell them they know my stepDad. Without fail lol. And they all do. One of the boys went back to work and told Ron he'd seen me, and next thing I knew the guy was back asking me if he'd come in, yet.
Maybe he didn't know that she had survived, until then. 💕
Seriously, my wholeheartedly believing that I've carried and delivered a whole beautiful mocha baby outside the scope of my conscious awareness is nothing when compared to an entire life filled with "invisible" (and way too often incestuous) rape.
Plus, I seriously had a dream like a decade ago that my mom and Ron had an adorable little mixed baby, and my mom was adamant that would never happen. - ...🙋🏼♀️ I'll do that! I love mixed babies! 🥰 Not to mention, saving humanity is a real good time. 🌞
https://youtu.be/D7rm9t5S4uE?si=ZCSrytjnZ0yJXIc2
And, hell, maybe Abby is every bit as much the Godsend as I like to think she is. Perhaps she really did serve to pull Philip away from the hopeless influence of our father, and he's just maintained his hope in our mother all this time. She really does play her role very well. Our mother, the innocent little doe. It was all too easy for both of us, Philip and I, to perceive an overwhelming divide, victim and abuser, between her and SteveJoe.
But was she ever really the victim, Philip?
I think it's time for us to cut the cord. You in?
And this brings us right back to Sadie,
whose custody I would love to take, for real. 💝
🌹https://youtu.be/FjVjHkezTIM?si=VnWXvCBWasCeEJaL🌹🌹
I presume Skylar was smoothly transitioned into a Grice's care
upon (what was absolutely certainly a bathtub) delivery.{🤱🏿}Morgan, here, perhaps?
It's almost alarming how simple it is for me to fathom having seriously gone through all this, right here in front of Nick&Hannah. Lol. Just kinda, "Ohp... Ohlman,yeah. Okay, cool. Uh. This is fine. Yeah. So, uh, my water just broke. I'm gonna go take a bath. I'll text you when I'm ready for you to come get her."
Bj and his Mom, both, can attest to how calm and quiet I am during child labor lmao.
Ah, Mike! Whose nose says he must be a Grice! Maybe they did know all along! 😁
And I suppose so closely watching me go through all that with Skylar, while she's been baking some of her own Nick Dough (🤣) has been some semblance of a comfort for Hannah, as such a young new mom, herself. 🫠 Sweet. 💗
In case there's anyone left who doesn't quite get it, yet:
My eldest daughter, Hannah Danielle, is legitimately
the reincarnated mate of someone (aVampire) much older than herself,
AND she's still technically a minor who is also already
pregnant with the much older man's child.
And that is so much more than okay it's not even funny. 😇
You can either Love it or Leave it. I promise we do not care about your opinions.🔹
~~~
Once upon a time, at the house on Third Street in Ayden, my 8 year old daughter asked me why she couldn't see me more. I said, "🥲 Because I'm trying to help people learn how to heal. ❤️🩹" And then I never saw her for more than a couple of days at a time, again. By the middleish of 2021, I was lucky to talk to her on the phone. And then 🧱.
Because Some People Suck. 🙂
https://youtu.be/nqDH4PW88Xk?si=N4p6bkXujawMJ6oG
https://youtu.be/hKKAy8R4yjQ?si=S0-Fl51vMpm3FFs-
https://youtu.be/i0w0q-eu2Hk?si=pN-q4fq1knBJuQA1
https://youtu.be/KnGSVIZGkQo?si=0TqXtzHNBXNjkAqn
https://youtu.be/AvHHfT5dtAk?si=GzbQoB9dt89Ikf61
https://youtu.be/dpzRZf8urC4?si=V1mlIpZwzIp6yVZT
https://youtu.be/Ew4eG9hGtlw?si=7IP55Mh0uk6_zSx6
https://youtu.be/Zw_y3Kj_Sa8?si=wL1Sezpey-EPMfqL
So no Philip, either, then? 😐 Bummer. We super sure about that?
😇https://youtu.be/8guDjA9BNcs?si=pnAS2Riep1NTSYLO📸Q...? For sure?...🧐
Mom must really hate it that I still recognize you as ~in the clear~, Bubbie.
She's a flaming cunt, in case you hadn't noticed. 🔥☺️🔥
I'm sure Abby is, in fact, your actual Mate,
considering what she's managed to endure with you.
Not the least of which is the simple horrorshow that is our family. 🤡
https://youtu.be/XSQQ06o_ckg?si=hCTbn8AMnYzy5XFY
https://youtu.be/XnVHjjHC3aQ?si=2FSxg5hHUAnTYhN9
https://youtu.be/cwKQxzFr7f8?si=89IWAODIH66iYTBa
https://youtu.be/Qd6EDug_Tvg?si=r-rGygkv7LIMg6rQ
So, yeah, I'm pretty sure Philip Michael Stancil is the ever elusive Q.🥳
Perhaps this is why I still have your birth certificate. 🤣 iTsAcLuE!🧭
🛡️🤑🛡️https://youtu.be/vFR8Z_U_ICE?si=oLFxIhAEHLOKR-2w🧾😇🧾
Elon to both of us, in some way or another: Say Whatever You Want To.
⛓️💥⛓️💥⛓️💥https://youtu.be/BsQbn_lex5A?si=SRJ6vqD_E9etsVHV⛓️💥⛓️💥⛓️💥
I suppose the "forgotten" source of my anal pain of late could perhaps have something to do with having just given birth not too long ago. 🙇🏼♀️ Split psyches are both incredibly rare (as in, shouldn't exist), and weirdly impressive.
I just watched the new Beetlejuice with Jackie. Twas an interesting movie! 🍿
9.19.24 ~
I tried it, everyone. The notion in the movie, the, "I just used you to save my own life," concept, but between Nick and Hannah. Ask Nick, he can hear my brain just as easily as Edwin can lol. Maybe it could've fit, in some other much more shallow version of reality. But in this reality, the one that actually endures through everything, this energy feels much more applicable and accurate:
<https://youtu.be/T1c6fgwaF-Q?si=iUPmkHL5U2tRHYKu>
That's Nick, Brenda, Shaggy, and Angelo~ (He told me last night he doesn't want me calling him Ashby, cause his dad was a terrible person. I said, "I feel that, mine was, too." Angelo Ashby actually goes by Dinero, I just feel ridiculous calling him MoneyinSpanish lmao.) ~being protective over my child. Something I was never allowed to do. I appreciate them more than any of y'all can fathom.
On a side note, Instagram just told me Philip still has me blocked, probably across all social media, which tells me that he still thinks I'm the looney toon, and our mom is a battered angel lol. I cannot wait for that inverse to hit him.
But if he's Q, he already knows the truth...🤔 Hm.
I guess we'll see if I'm right about that.
Maybe he's just keeping up appearances. 🤷🏼♀️
https://youtu.be/759v0ZlK_AQ?si=0hN19wFCXsQIJHll
I'm pretty sure all my insanity about Hannah in the last blog post was actually my mother channeling herself through me, as that's how she feels about me.
She's the one who wants me dead. 😮💨 Not my daughter.
https://youtu.be/dYSQ1NF1hvw?si=KKh2G7Gm_JK7zUBr
I think I really was in love with Philip, growing up.
Awkward, but sensible. Everyone else should be in prison.
https://youtu.be/Won0HhZc0-M?si=_AQ8UwcPJ76HV2dG
I have a faint scar on the inside of my left arm where I cut a letter into it. The letter I'm left with is a "J," but I think it was literally magically altered by my mother from a "P." In my (almost certainly inaccurate) memory of the cutting, I was working on "BJ," but started with the second letter and gave up. 😑 Pretty sure it was just the first letter, P, but my mom didn't want me remembering how I felt about the only honest person in my childhood.
She made it a J, rather than a B, to further confuse me if I started piecing it together. All that nonsense about Jeremy being the closest thing I have to a twin, inside and out. Jeremy and Ashley are the good little demon children. Maybe she could convince me that Jeremy was the one I was so in tune with, effectively separating me from the truth for as long as possible. This is all so difficult to process and make sense of, because parents hating their children doesn't make any sense. But that's what Philip and I grew up with. Confounding hatred from all sides.
Conditional love, weaponized by surprise hatred, from everyone except each other.
Being able to talk to him and hear his version of events from the development of my split psyche would've effectively destroyed our family over a decade ago. But we also would've gotten nowhere with the whole global trafficking scheme. Bigger fish and all.
https://youtu.be/b6Z-nM7FeFI?si=uhA2bYcKSINrCVNT
https://youtu.be/NUC2EQvdzmY?si=va7h6lBWea1NtBu5
https://youtu.be/4bAh0tfrRGY?si=iEMHGI23YVxHnJLl
And, yes, the Grices were always "Down By Law," specifically in our lives for the EndGame.♾️
Kiss our beautiful haesasretss, mother.🔥
And our dad legitimately made up that story about Philip and Danica, who is Caleb, Sarah, Rachel, and Sadie's COUSIN, specifically to orient me against Abby.
Our parents really do hate her for loving Philip in such a Godly way. ❤️🔥
And all my dad ever told me about the night they got married was that she made him cry. Our father told me that Philip told him that "she flipped a switch, and suddenly she was mean." That's it. No details, no context; just "mean" and "cried." I threw that bait in their faces a few times, and neither of them ever corroborated the fib. But they also never tried to tell me their honest version of the story.
At this point, I'm pretty sure the switch she flipped was on us, not Philip.
And that would've hurt Philip because Philip wanted to help us, he didn't want to abandon us. But Abby would've informed him that we were well beyond his help, and he needed to leave us all in God's hands. Pretty certain that's the truth.
If there could exist such things as Professional Puller Downers, our family would be those.
All this psychological mud and these
outrageous narratives I cyclically find
myself drowning in are all coming directly from
Stephen Joseph Stancil,
Angela Michele Grice,
Jeremy Christopher Stancil,
and Ashley Nicole Stanmontest.
I'm over it, y'all. You all suck, you are terrible people, and I look forward to each and every one of you serving very long sentences in a very serious paranormal prison somewhere. Guantanamo Bay, perhaps?
Philip&Abby and Elon&I will write to you from time to time. ✍🏼
Don't expect to hear from Sadie until she's 18, Ashley.
I'm sure Chris feels much the same about Gracelyn.💟
All those memories I have of Philip and I looking each other in the eyes and straining them in such a way that they vibrated back and forth was, while also true, a psychological coverup for all the times he tried to tell me the truth about my split psyche and our familial abuse.
〰️🔫https://youtu.be/ZnxvDRgROFg?si=j5o-i0qG7hEUPFHD♟️checkmate.
😘🥰https://youtu.be/B9BLMNn0PrQ?si=8UMnFP4bTRp_a52u🥰😘
The "watch me never blame Sarah" concept
stemmed from the heart of Philip&Abby about me.
https://youtu.be/VLpYgeBbnzQ?si=hvyFpBatVaSa_NUK
https://youtu.be/O_yv8J6dMzs?si=VoB92kmAFkJKVwXq
https://youtu.be/zHEfRIuB0yA?si=8L4X5id1nvQvKjje
https://youtu.be/NkfDy9lDPnw?si=MLKD6uuX6vtMGDGm
https://youtu.be/tp-Fi7ZJJaU?si=fErWfgwQoi8LQXFO
Kira is how I knew we grew up getting raped.
They could never rewrite her Complete Lack Of Trust.🧼🫧
https://youtu.be/1OBPN1xKhQs?si=U5FYMjM7jKHqxCgw
https://youtu.be/hBsrHZmj2ws?si=6MGMktSsLv5II1Hn
https://youtu.be/hL0yfxDe6jE?si=XfBAlj6TCjN-nFY_
https://youtu.be/UnP-SKbmUCU?si=ynUsB58uRNIn46na
https://youtu.be/jwbg7aB6tGU?si=T0h2lSyrp1xD_yST
Pretty sure I'm right about our paternal grandfather. (Obviously.)
He's not at all too fond of his eldest son. 😗🍝😗
And he was never dead. 👣 Dad simply wrote him off.
Everyone else just went along with the liessss.
He kept tabs on all of us, all along. 💷💌📑~•~🤑💶🤑
~~~*ahem*. Fuck You, Son.~~~
https://youtu.be/rQRww_yhVpQ?si=ifXVHnyYO1nyebs-
It was my father who was running PCDC, probably right up until I got there.
My 45 days was basically the whole Squad saying a big heartfelt 🖕🏿💓🖕🏻 to him.
Living in Texas with Karisa,
while simultaneously comman
ding my local jail amounts to literally
no logistical snag.
Not for a "Grade A Businessman."
Right, dAdDy? 💘😂
Me, sobbing on the "video chat" with him,
as he was actively trying to 'remind' me
that "I'm stupid": These children need help!
https://youtu.be/Ro51SuLyh8A?si=rhwPICRegEzV6wV3
I absolutely was eventually watching him get shot in the head. 🤣 By them.❤️🔥
He had commanded them to open fire on me for some set&steady duration of time (effectively blazing through a shit ton of timelines, and making me wonder why they were hurting me) on the night I was booked.
That was their shameless retaliation. 🛡️🔰🛡️√🏴☠️☸️⚓
•https://youtu.be/zVJ5gsLeCSM?si=65zLYilzpcSfF5q2•
That "white, twinkish cop" that appeared on the day Ron got me pregnant
was actually SteveJoe. 🤯
Kittrell must be a Grice; or something 🗿identical, spirituallyspeaking.⛰️
They were each personally delivering him headshots
while they recorded him
hastily packing up his >on site living quarters<.
That sounds like y'all had a real good time, PCDC! 🤠
https://youtu.be/zO7gZugpD10?si=SN1Axr3csEIGOi-V
https://youtu.be/4s9u-wqtyls?si=aoVR678GhZnsS6Uu
The redheaded Copeland, Chyna, and theTwins+Jackie a
re all undercover cops. LIteralLY.🪷 And that Kayla inmate/HTcoworker.🖐🏻🥲
Reptilians aren't exactly a pipedream, but they are (were) b
asically just a God Tier "side project." Consider the entire species a g
alactic sized sand🏰castle with a universal wave incoming.🌊🌬️pointless
The "dead" 'Queen of England' was (is) one of them. You'll see, everyone.🚜💨
And, unfortunately for you, Michael Smalley
I can't unsee your brazen abuse
in the digital snippets I managed to catch bef
ore you shut me up. Prison for you, as well.🥩🍚
NSA~Robbie Clark
CIA~Danica Clark
That makes hilarious sense lmfao.🎓
Oh, yes, right, the lizards. Prison for none of my family!🎇
PCDC was acting on lizard orders.
https://youtu.be/67vbA5ZJdKQ?si=Cks19adRJYFlj0gE
https://youtu.be/njPNg0A9VpY?si=fHcSz75WYqvTQ4lL
https://youtu.be/znzE8yKHMiE?si=J0ZgKXY5WsSJp--W
🚨https://youtu.be/k-_G6__r2nA?si=c3S6TrwfD4n9ge0u🚩
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